Feeling confident as a mother, feeling happy to be a mom, feeling good about yourself….if those are in place, most other things are going to be okay, too.
We have ways of knowing without even knowing what those ways are.
Mothers – YOU – have a deep well of intuitive knowing; actually, women have this well, but mothers may find access is easier when there is a baby involved. Or harder…it can seem like the voices of all the authoritative others take priority. You know who I mean: your mother, your mother-in-law, the women in your social circle, your female relatives, the social media parenting mavens, the “experts” who know what you “should be” doing with your baby.
When you listen to all of those voices it can be difficult to hear your own small intuitive voice inside you. This inner voice can be very quiet if you have always done things the right way, paid attention to the rules, and followed directions. Those strategies have likely paid off for you. They are helpful in being successful in school, and in being successful in many jobs, and in getting along with other people. Generally speaking, listening to the voice of authority can be helpful. But helpful isn’t the same as knowing what is really right for you.
What isn’t helpful is when you can’t tell what you think is the best course of action because those other voices are too loud or too demanding, or your inner self is scared of making a mistake. Nobody wants to make a mistake with their baby. But I’ll tell you a secret that mothers everywhere know. Everyone makes mistakes in parenting. Every single parent. And most children come out okay.
How would it feel to actually BELIEVE that you know best for your baby? You and your partner, you guys actually get to decide how you want to raise your family. Whether you sleep train or co-sleep, breastfeed or bottle feed, use baby-led weaning or structure the whole process for your convenience probably matters a lot less than how you FEEL about what you are choosing to do. Feeling confident as a mother, feeling happy to be a mom, feeling good about yourself….if those are in place, most other things are going to be okay, too.
So spend time thinking about how to parent, and talking with your partner about how they want to parent, and decide what kind of family life you want to create with your children. New problems will arise regularly and new solutions will present themselves. Every single problem has a solution. Every problem has a solution, and you can find a solution that works for you if you listen deeply inside yourself. Turn down the volume on the “authorities,” even me, and listen to your inner wisdom.
Photos used under Creative Commons license:
Mother breast feeding her infant; Shutterstock ID 133589516; PO: Parentdish