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Fall Conference announced by Massachusetts Society for Bioenergetic Analysis

June 30, 2016 Leave a Comment

Our friends at the MassBio society have announced that they are holding the Fall Conference at the Essex Retreat Centre again this year.  This conference is a great opportunity to experience bioenergetics in a group format, and in a beautiful place!

The program starts on Thursday evening and runs through Sunday lunch.   The conference is unique in that there is a group for bioenergetic clients, a group for therapists who are not bioenergetic therapists, and a group specifically for bioenergetic therapists.  So there is something there for everyone in the bioenergetic world!

You’ll be working with a pair of experienced therapists in a small, safe group of people in a lovely natural setting.  The retreat center is welcoming, with wonderful grounds that are dotted with the host’s amazing sculptures, and the food is excellent.   The program included workshops as well as group work, and fun opportunities for dancing, drumming, and singing around a campfire.

Here’s a link to the registration information:http://www.massbioenergetics.org/conference

 

Depression in Pregnancy

May 13, 2016 Leave a Comment

Mother breast feeding her infant; Shutterstock ID 133589516; PO: Parentdish
Mother breast feeding her infant; Shutterstock ID 133589516; PO: Parentdish

Depression is pretty common. They used to call it the “common cold of mental illness,” but I haven’t heard that lately. For a common condition, a lot of us don’t know what it looks like or feels like For that reason, and maybe some others, depression during pregnancy may go unrecognized.

Depression doesn’t look the same in every person. For some people, the symptoms are mostly disruptions of sleep, appetite, energy, and the capacity to enjoy life. For some people, depression will show up as flat or sad mood, thoughts of being guilty or worthless, or hopelessness. For some people, the most compelling symptoms is irritation. If you have become highly irritable, easily frustrated, unable to find pleasure in things that you have always loved, you might have depression.

Here is a link to a recent article about possible depression signs:

http://www.parentherald.com/articles/42761/20160511/depression-during-pregnancy-5-symptoms-prenatal.htm

 

Where is the darkness?

January 6, 2016 Leave a Comment

I have clients in my practice who have suffered through traumatizing situations, people who struggle with PTSD, the real deal.   Sometimes they have seen so much that it can be hard to hold any idea of the world other than the one that is framed by that experience.

If you have been a helper in this world, one who sees the suffering enacted on humans by other humans, one who tries without success to bring order into chaos, one who wants desperately to reach out a hand to help but knows that a hand isn’t enough, the  world can look like a terrible place, where people do unconscionable things to each other, where behaviour lies outside of our capacity to understand, and where compassion seems to have dried up and blown away.

I know, though, that we have an inherent capacity to tolerate trauma.  Our nervous systems are wired up to experience it, work through it, and work it out.  PTSD happens when that natural system is disrupted. Instead of feeling our feelings, watching our memories, noticing our body sensations, we are trained to avoid all of that, pretend we are okay when we are not, and smile….at all costs, to smile.  When we are good at avoidance, we can sometimes pretend that we didn’t have those experiences.  At least we can pretend to others, but it is harder to pretend to ourselves, especially at night.

But because I know we are self-healing, I know that people can and do recover from trauma and from PTSD.   What can be hard though is when the darkness from the worldview starts to invade your heart and mind.  You can get to a place where you wonder if the world is really all dark, if people really cannot be trusted, and if there is no self-righting tendency in anything.  That can be the edge of despair:  not a place we especially like to visit.  And if you haven’t been there before, it can feel like there is no way out.

Despair.  Despair:  if you’ve been there, you know it.  Despair is the last protest of hopelessness, the energy that powers our movement back toward the light.  It is the NO that shifts gears from ever increasing darkness.  When the dark forces gather, we resist and try to push the feelings away.  But letting go into the experience of the body allows for the cry of despair….and that is our protest.  The cry is both the indicator of the depth of feeling and the movement out of that feeling.

Our literature and beliefs are rife with examples and expressions of despair.  It is a very human experience, and we try like crazy to avoid it.  But it is what comes when things are overwhelming, sorrows abound, fear and sadness and loss are activated to a high level.  We see the world and ourselves as without redemption.   But making the protest, crying out despair, especially with your therapist, your lover, or your friend, can open a door to recovery.

 

A platform for therapists, lovers and friends…..holding space for another person (a bit of direction)

When you cry out that there is nothing, no one, that you are unutterably alone, I can hear that.  When you cry out and I witness your despair, you experience something different.  You are not alone.  You are not carrying this burden by yourself.  You are not unsupported, unloved, unseen.   I will not give you up to a world that is all darkness.  Even when you cannot imagine that there is anything else, I can hold the space so you can feel into your despair.  When you feel like you have to give up, because you just cannot go on any more,  I have strength and room for you.  When you cannot believe in a future, I can believe in it, and I can believe in you.   Even if you cannot see the light, I will hold it for you until you have sunk into your despair and made that cry that moves you away from it.

If I’m not happy now, then when?

November 4, 2015 Leave a Comment

I could be happy if only…….if only this, and this, and this……what would have to happen to allow me to be happy?

We are victims of a perfection-image mentality.   That is, it seems as if we cannot be happy unless everything is perfect.  That means all of our circumstances, all of our relationships, all of our surroundings and – heaven help us – we, ourselves, have to be perfect.

Wow!  What a burden.

If we are really operating that way, we’ve pretty much put the limit on ever being happy.  If happiness requires that circumstances, other people and we ourselves have to be perfect, well, we might as well resign ourselves right now that happiness is unattainable.

What do you think of that?  Insert sad face emoticon.  Yeah.  It stinks, right?

I think that perfection is unattainable, by definition.   And I also think it is a poor use of time and energy to keep on striving for something that is both unattainable and probably not even very useful if you could attain it.  (What good would it be to me to be perfect for one day or one minute?  The next minute I’d be back to striving…..ugh.  Too tiring to think about).  It makes sense to me to be OPEN to the possibility that happiness could happen regardless of your circumstances.  It could happen regardless of whether your relationships are in right order or whether you are feeling perfect or utterly imperfect.

In fact, happiness often arrives when we are quite outside of ourselves, out of self-consciouness and awareness of our limitations and deep in self-criticism.  Happiness arrives, like a spring day, and blesses us with a lifting of the spirit, a lightening of the body, an easing of tensions.

It is not a gift or reward for a perfectly clean house, perfectly made-up face, or perfect parenting.  It comes like grace, like a breeze, like a zephyr…and it goes that way, too.

Let go, let down, let it be.  And then see what happens.  It would be a shame to miss moments of happiness because you were striving so hard to do more, be more.  And when it comes, soak in the moment, relax in the sensations and deeply enjoy….and then let it go.  Happiness is like that.  You can cultivate it but you can’t make it stay.

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Recent Posts

  • Handling the holidays …… December 16, 2016
  • Pregnant woman need psychotherapy….according to the Washington Post October 17, 2016
  • Mothers’ inner wisdom…it’s there! July 4, 2016
  • Fall Conference announced by Massachusetts Society for Bioenergetic Analysis June 30, 2016
  • Fertility does matter: finding support June 14, 2016

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